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Options 1290 to 1300
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Take 30 hits of acid
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When your spouse has a cold they don't blow their nose, they just let the snot flow out as it will
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Only eat hot-pockets for the rest of your life
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You fall into a vat of whatever this option is paired with (or the closest thing that makes sense (leave a comment indicating what you think this is))
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Live as a monster
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Be thrown in the ocean with a backpack full of cinder blocks
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Become a werecow
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All liquids taste unbearably disgusting to you, except whiskey
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Every conversation you have ends awkwardly
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Boiling water teleports into your digestive system and entirely fills it. One second later it disappears.