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  1. 50% of the time when you go to speak you just mumble incoherently
  2. The only cereal you ever get to eat is cereal that you have bathed in
  3. A bizarre mishap leaves you a quadruple amputee, but gives you invulnerability and the ability to fly like superman
  4. Live in a world of perpetual Groundhog Day
  5. Eat cheese for breakfast, lunch and dinner for a year
  6. Discover that, due to a freak time travel accident that will someday leave you stranded in the past, you are actually your own parent.
  7. Get beat up by Jackie Chan
  8. A bum off the street walks up to you and licks your face three times
  9. Find out the Little Richard is your real father
  10. Be a bipolar bear


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