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Remain in blissful ignorance of the fact that your spouse had a sex change before they met you
 
or
 
1g of each non-radioactive element (up to 83) is arranged in a grid of cubes (matching the layout of the periodic table). Each cube is separated by an impenetrable force field and is 100% pure. This entire construction is embedded in your right leg. Then the force fields are turned off.

 
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