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You have to pick:

Your hands are replaced by moderately-powerful vacuum cleaners.
 
or
 
Alien space bats scoop up your home city and deposit it on the shallow continental shelf several hundred miles offshore from Florida. Since they're benevolent, they turn everyone brought along with it into merfolk.

 
Comments
jonnyt_

I'm thinking that you'd end up excreting whatever your "hands" suck in

revegelance

That would suck.

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